Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
So many bounce houses so little time
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize
