who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
