Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
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