If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
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