Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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