she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize
