I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
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