where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Randomize