Porn is love you can see.
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
Randomize
