put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
