dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Randomize
