Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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