don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
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