you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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