Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
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Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
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I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
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