he thought i was a dude.
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
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Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
Randomize