Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
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