VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
Randomize
