Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
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