he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
Randomize
