I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
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