p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
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