you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
