I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
He keeps bees of course he's weird
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Randomize