She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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