Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
Randomize
