It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
Randomize
