And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
Reggie can tackle my bush.
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
Randomize
