I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
Randomize
