There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
