you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
Randomize
