I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
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