my vag is so smooth its legendary
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
Randomize
