For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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