I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
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