i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Randomize
