Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
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