i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize
