We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
