If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
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