I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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