yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
Randomize
