I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize
