turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
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