Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
Randomize
