no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
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