I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
You took a bar mat shot.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
I could fuck to npr.
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
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