I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
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