if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
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