Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
My phone has seen less use in the last three days than Tom Brady's condoms.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize