Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
jump out the window naked night went bad
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