Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
Randomize