11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
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