Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Randomize
