Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
