The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
