Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
Randomize