I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
Found the puke drawer
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
Randomize
