the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
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