Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
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