6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
Randomize
